S is for let's talk about "Sex"

SEX

*gasp!* is a part of our lives that is so complex. it's not just a physical thing; it can also have an emotional and even spiritual effect on us.

sex has always been one of those funny subjects for me. i can laugh and make jokes about it all day long but when it comes down to the personal stuff quite honestly it makes me blush.

i must warn you now that i'm going to write about SEX. so if you're squeamish, you can stop reading now. oh yeah and maybe i need to throw in an "i'm gay!" so this is going to be from my perspective. no Adam and Eve shyte here, tyvm!

so let me come out and admit that i have only had 2 1/2 sexual partners in my whole life. i don't know why i would find that fact kind of embarrassing but i do. don't you think it's kind of odd that there is this unspoken social catch 22 when it comes to sex? if you haven't really been sexually active, people tend to think that you are prude or that there is something wrong with you but if you have been very sexually active people look down on you, and may question your morals. i wonder what the "acceptable" number of people to sleep with is? 4? 7? 11 1/2?

if you've read any of my previous blog posts then you've had the opportunity to get to know me a little more and hopefully have a deeper understanding of who i am and why i am so strange. if you haven't read my blog, "S" is also for screw you. lol

i've kind of touched on the fact that i've had a few issues with the whole sex and sexuality thing. i used to own a lot of real estate in the land of confusion. :P

do you remember your first time? was it good? did you love the person you were with?

my first sexual experience was...interesting. i lost my virginity to a girl (yes!) that i was dating in high school. i was still denying to myself that i was gay but at the same time i can honestly say that i wanted what she gave me. like a total cliché, i lost my virginity in the back seat of my car. i remember at the time i had this sweet 1970 chevy monte carlo. we had just gone to see a few bands play at the SxSW music festival and afterwards we drove out to the cliffs to hang out, smoke out, and look at the Austin lights in the night sky. i wish i could say i remember how we ended up in the back seat but i can tell you she was so pale and beautiful. glowing. not at all like the women that sometimes cause me to have deviously "straight" thoughts these days.

and pink, i remember her bra and panties were lacy and pink like cupcake frosting and she smelled like chanel and weed. even now when i think about that moment the room gets a little warm and i am blushing beyond belief.

since then i hadn't had another truly sexual relationship 'til now. i think i was a little traumatized by the relationship between her and i. there was no love in a sense that was anything more than friendship and i think i was deeply disappointed in myself for that. i strongly feel that as a personal choice i could never have sex with someone i didn't love and trust completely.

i have had two other relationships before the one i am in now, the first is the sexual experience that i guess i consider the "1/2" Matt and i never really had intercourse. oh god i sound like someone's mother talking about this shit! lol there was touching and stuff and junk and things but you don't need to know about that so moving on...

the next relationship was with a guy i met online. we had a long distance relationship so of course there was the lack of physically being with each other. we never did hook up in person. seeing how things turned out and what kind of person he ended up being i am extremely glad we never did. i would have hated myself even more.

when i met my current partner, he was kind of surprised to learn of how little experience with sex i had; he also admits he was a little nervous. i guess it can be a little intimidating if you think that because your partner hasn't been with many people at all or done many things that the way you perform will be the way that he perceives sex. i had a lot of firsts with Kc. my first same sex...umm...sex, my first lip biting, eyes rolling, calling on jesus honest to god orgasm lol and so on and so on... he has definitely helped me to unleash my inner hussy tee hee!

to me sex is more than just two bodies clanging together. giving ourselves to each other, becoming one, learning those things about one another that make our toes curl has become an expression of how much we love and care for each other. <3

i am a very lucky boy in the fact that he is so patient and open to letting me experiment with new things. he indulges my silliness and curiosity so i've been able to have a little naughty fun! :D

tip #1 i will tell you that whipped cream in bed is not sexy! it's sticky and it gets all over things. in your hair on the sheets, in your crack :O i think we spent more time laughing about the whipped cream being a very bad idea than getting any sort of enjoyment out of it.

tip #2 the tongue is the most amazing organ!

and last but not least

tip #3 anything that heats up a little and then gets cool when you blow on it...ooh la la! winky winky! ;)