i admit, i am a difficult person to get to know. i have a hard time letting people in to my life because i don't feel like i relate a lot of times. i've always sworn that i am an alien placed on this earth as a scientific experiment or a colossal joke. i haven't decided which.
so, who am i? well, idk i guess i'm not really the best person to ask that question as my self view is not the greatest and i've been called many different things by many different people.
there are certain aspects of my life that i have kept to myself because i am unsure how they will effect what i already feel may be other's perceptions of me. :/
one of the things that came in to question before was how i make a living. i've never really elaborated on that because i have found that no matter what, people will always find a reason to judge you.
i was actually told once that it was assumed that i looked down on people because i have been to the opera, i chose to attend a charity event that was a black tie affair (as apposed to say volunteering in a soup kitchen), didn't work for long periods of time but still managed to own my own home and drive a nice car... i say assumed because never have i ever put out that vibe or said or done anything to that effect. it was just decided for me that is the way that i was. i suppose in that person's incredibly fucked up mind it was another way to point a finger at me. but it kind of got me to thinking...how would your perceptions of me change if you knew my financial background? or if you knew that i am the kid of two people who are the children and grand children of other people who invented things or owned things? would your expectations of me change?
or would you be surprised to know that i am a 25 year old man whose parents still have legal guardianship over him because i am not considered "stable" enough to make adult decisions. that i don't have my own bank account because i am erratic, compulsive, and impulsive and cannot be trusted with money. it's seriously sad that there is this elaborate system devised for me to have funds. :l
i am so envious of those who are able to share every part of their lives. i wish i had the confidence for that and believe me, i am trying. this post for me is huge, HUGE! and as soon as i hit publish, i'm going to go hide for a while.
3 comments:
Brandon first off kudos to you for your big step!!! Second, there will always be people that judge based on their own preconceived and almost always wrong, opinions.!! I am one of those very, very, few that don't give 2 shits about race, color, religon, money, or lack of it, sexual orientation, or what the fuck ever else people can use to judge & discriminate.
In other words, I don't give a flying fuck in a floating donut if you are red,yellow, black, white or purple with polka dots.. short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor, gay or straight... makes no damn difference to me. I don't judge people period. I treat others the way I want to be treated, if you are good to me I am good to you.
So there you have my answer!! :D Bravo again dear boy !! Hugs and B FUCK the haters in da ass with a running chainsaw!!! :D
Be so very proud of YOU! I'm truly humbled to read this but blessed to call you a FIEND. <3
I love your 'essence', and honesty, Sis! X
You better ALWAYS let me in! <3
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