Q is For "Quirks"

quirk (kwirk)

n.

1. A peculiarity of behavior; an idiosyncrasy: "Every man had his own quirks and twists" (Harriet Beecher Stowe).

the other day in therapy to kind of lighten the mood we talked about quirks. some can be kind of silly, some can be beneficial or make improvements in the way we get things done, and some can be down right bizarre!! do you insist on the toilet paper being "over" or "under"? dot your "i's" with smiley faces? have a secret collection of toenail clippings? well you are not alone! (well maybe on the toenail thing )

my sister has this thing where she raps her knuckles on the dashboard three times before she starts her car. she says it's "for luck", i say she's inherited a bit of the ol' McPhee crazy gene!

point is, everybody has that one (or several) little strange thing about them that has to be "just so". those little things are what make us unique and perhaps a little odd at times. so the group therapist asked us to write down a list of our quirks and share them with each other. it was a little weird because most of the time we don't really think of the things we're doing, we just do them and it was kind of scary to see how many little character quirks i really had!

we also learned how to talk about our quirks and accept them and even laugh at them in a way that was positive. i have to say it was actually kind of a fun day in the great big pile of suck that is group therapy.

so here is my list. don't laugh. i know you're laughing!

Brandon's List of Oddities:

1. when taking bread from a loaf i will not take the first 2-3 pieces. i don't know why, but they are poison.

2. i used to be an extreme clean freak and germaphobe. since moving in with my partner though, i've been forced to learn not let disarray set my teeth on edge. Kc is not nearly as concerned about the candle being exactly 47 degrees northeast of the magazines on the coffee table as i am. lol

he has also helped me to bringdown my fear of germs a notch. according to his logic, exposing ourselves to germs helps our bodies build up natural antibodies. sounds like he's selling snake oil to me but since he is a pharmD that does medical research i guess i'll buy it. i told him if i die of some weird ass disease i want "thanks a lot asshole!!!!" <--with the appropriate amount of exclamation points etched in to my tombstone!

3. i mostly type and write in lower case letters. no, it is not just my bad grammar and lord knows i need a lot of help with that!

as much as i'd love to pass it off as an attempt to emulate the author e.e. cummings, for some reason capital letters make me uneasy. my therapist feels like it has something to do with self esteem. i will never, never, never, capitalize the word "i"

4. i refuse to eat at Wendy's solely based on the fact that they serve square hamburgers. i've never eaten any of their food but in my america, hamburgers are round damn it!

5. i can not grow facial hair. believe me i've tried. we won't shame ourselves by dwelling on the handful of sad little chin hairs that showed up for duty when i tried to grow a goatee once. moving on...

6. i can never just sit down and watch tv. i always have to be doing something else; internet, writing, chatting, reading a book...i have the shortest attention span and television doesn't seem to be enough to hold it.

7. i can not deal with open closet doors.

8. i can't sleep without the fan on. even if it is 20 degrees below zero (which it never is in Austin!)

9. i shower every night before i go to bed and every morning when i wake up.

10. i don't eat anything that's white.

and the coup de grâce...

11. ok, this is my biggest and weirdest quirk. i don't share this with a lot of people but the sight of wet bread freaks me out!!!!! not that i am afraid of it or anything. it's hard to explain but it literally makes me physically weak in the knees and queasy. you know that weird fluttery feeling you get when you are driving in a car and you go too fast down a steep hill? well that's what happens to me. one day Kc came in the kitchen and found me passed out on the floor. (yep, it's that serious! i know!) he has always put up with my many oddities, never complained or gotten upset or exasperated with me,but knowing that a soggy piece of leftover sandwich in the kitchen sink made me fall out, that actually raised an eyebrow lol.

omg i can't believe i typed and will eventually publish that!

so now that i have shared my quirks with you, i would be interested to know what funny, interesting, or bizarre quirks you readers (if anybody actually reads this)have to share with me.